Charizard Of the Ice Path
by Marina the Lugia
Summary: The insane tale of wild pokemon doing strange things.
1. Never Underestimate the Power of Potato

Chapter One  
  
Never Underestimate the Power of Potatoes  
  
Disclaimer: Guess what? I don't own Nintendo. Amazed? Let us get on with it  
  
Narrator (I, haha!): We begin our story in the freezing cold Ice Path where our hero, Charizard, does very important business.  
  
Charizard: *comes out of toilet with newspaper under arm* Aah, refreshed. *walks to the sofa and turns on the TV*  
  
TV: Reports of a loose maniac pokemon have been confirmed. Now onto other news, the world's first self-unrolling toilet paper!  
  
Sneasel: *barges through the door* Hey Charizard! What the heck are you doing sitting like a Slakoth in front of the TV? Let's go!  
  
Charizard: *groans* Do we have to? It's freezing outside today. What about on a warm sunny day?  
  
Sneasel: Oh hello Charizard? We live in the Ice Path. *sits next to Charizard on the sofa* Anyway there's nothing on TV.  
  
Charizard: Oh yay, the watch paint dry show! *grins stupidly*  
  
Sneasel: Charizard! Charizard! Charizard! I want to go to the Carnival! I want to go to the Carnival!  
  
Charizard: There's hardly going to be a Carnival in the middle of the Ice Path, Sneasel.  
  
Sneasel: Noooo! The Dragon Carnival in Blackthorn today! Can we go? Pleeeeeeeeease?  
  
Charizard: Alright. But we're not spending five hundred dollars in five minutes.  
  
Sneasel: We won't! Now lets go!  
  
----Five Minutes later----  
  
Charizard: I can't believe we've spent six hundred dollars in five minutes and not got anything to show from it!  
  
Sneasel: Well Whack-a-Diglett is hard and that shaking Ponyta ride is fun.  
  
Charizard: Sneasel. That was for one year olds and that was all we spent on! We haven't got past the first arcade shop in the Carnival yet!  
  
Sneasel: There's more? Oh goody goody!  
  
Charizard: How did we get so much money anyway.  
  
Sneasel: Don't know, don't care. *walks along the road and walks into Fortune Teller's booth*  
  
Charizard: Oh great, "the bunnies are coming" incident all over again. *bumps into Dragonite*  
  
Dragonite: Ow, oh hi Charizard. How are things?  
  
Charizard: Two words. Sneasel. Carnival.  
  
Dragonite: Ah. That makes sense. Where is he now. Oh let me guess "the bunnies are coming" booth.  
  
Charizard: *nods and walks into the Fortune Teller's booth  
  
Xatu: Come my children, come! *eyes whirl madly* Ooh! Young ones! Come! Come! *mumbles* Easy brats to get money from.  
  
Sneasel: Oh great Fortune Teller of the Carnival! I come seeking your guidance to the light of the future! Please, tell me my fortune.  
  
Xatu: Of course dear one. Today we have an offer on, get one fortune or item for the price of three!  
  
Sneasel: Bargain! How much is it?  
  
Charizard: *slaps hand on forehead*  
  
Xatu: For the mere price of....six thousand bucks kid. Take it or lose it kid.  
  
Sneasel: Are you kidding and miss on a chance like this? No way. *hands over six thousand dollars that come from nowhere*  
  
Xatu: Ah yes....now look deeply into my eyes dear child. Look deeply then close your eyes.  
  
Sneasel: *closes eyes*  
  
Xatu: *counts money* Three thousand and twenty, three thousand and thirty. *looks at Sneasel* The potato will be useful to you. Use the potato!  
  
Sneasel: *opens eyes* I will! Of course I will! *walks over to Charizard and Dragonite* Did you hear that? The powers of the potato is strong in me.  
  
Dragonite: O___O  
  
Charizard: Great. We'll now go back to my place and you can practice your potato powers there. *drags Sneasel back by the tail*  
  
Sneasel: Halt! Desist! I will use the power of the potato against you my friends.  
  
Dragonite: Oh shut up.  
  
----Ten minutes later (after much struggling, fighting, screaming and dragging)----  
  
Sneasel: *sticking potato onto staff*  
  
Dragonite: What the hell is he doing?  
  
Charizard: Who cares?  
  
Dragonite: Good point.  
  
Raichu: *kicks door down* Hello boys.  
  
Dragonite: Hello girl  
  
Charizard: Has anyone in this world heard of knocking before entering?  
  
Dragonite: Huh?  
  
Sneasel: Leaps up! I have it! The potato staff! *points potato staff at talking group* Charizard act like a duck! Dragonite hug the TV.  
  
Charizard: *flaps wings* Quack. Quack.  
  
Dragonite: *was already hugging the TV*  
  
Sneasel: Er...right. Raichu! Come give me a kiss. ^_^  
  
Raichu: *walks over to Sneasel and kisses him on the cheek*  
  
Sneasel: Lips.  
  
Raichu: *kisses on the lips*  
  
Sneasel: Like you mean it.  
  
Raichu: *snogs*  
  
Sneasel: That's enough Raichu. ^_^ Just go off and dream about me.  
  
Raichu: Oooh, Sneasel. How I desire thee...  
  
Charizard: Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack!  
  
Raichu: *stands kissing Sneasel on the lips as Salamance comes in*  
  
Salamance: Hey gang! Why are all the boys acting weird? Raichu? RAICHU! NO! *breaks staff*  
  
Raichu: *wakes up and runs away from Sneasel* AAAH! *pours mouthwash down mouth* Gross...gross...gross!  
  
Dragonite: *wakes up and continues to hug the TV*  
  
Charizard: Ha! I was awake the whole time. I got some photos of Raichu kissing Sneasel on my mini camera!  
  
Raichu: *attacks Charizard and Sneasel* You...boys....are...going...to...die!  
  
Narrator: And so ends another episode of Charizard of the Ice Path  
  
Well how did you like it? Next episode coming soon! 


	2. The Sandwich of Light

Chapter Two  
The Sandwich of Light  
  
Disclaimer: I now....still do not own Nintendo! And there is nothing you can do to make me own it! Muahahaha  
  
A/N: Thank you Miroku004 for Charizard of Ice Path's first review! And your pokemon *may* come on. Depends.  
  
Narrator: Well today we start at Raichu's house in Dragon's Den.  
  
Raichu: *sips coffee with cucumber over eyes* Aah. Relaxation. And I finally cleaned my mouth out  
  
TV: Newflash: The world's first self-unrolling toilet roll has been released in Hoenn! Now onto less important news...like. The Sandwich of Light has been stolen from the Pewter City Museum. The Sandwich is ancient and said to be made with the first sliced bread, sliced ham and sliced cheese. Also made by the first human. It is also said to keep insane fics insane in the world.  
  
Raichu: *spits out coffee* WHAT? THE FIRST SELF-UNROLLING TOILET ROLL WAS RELEASED IN HOENN FIRST! *removes cucumbers and knocks down her own door to go to Salamance's house* The Hoenn swots...  
  
----Meanwhile----  
  
Charizard: *runs around the house in a crazed way and suddenly stops, puts on glasses and tries to put together a miniature ship model in a bottle thing* Dear chap you named it completely wrong. Here let me correct it for you.  
  
Narrator: *growls* Who is the author here?  
  
Charizard: Well you, but, dear me, you seem a bit of a rookie. Besides you know you can do nothing to me.  
  
Narrator: I...can...but...I...must...not *grits teeth*  
  
----Anyway back to Raichu----  
  
Salamance: *reads book*  
  
Raichu: *bursts through the door* Sal! Self-unrolling and TV and newsflash and Sandwich of Light and why the heck is a piano in place of the TV?  
  
Salamance: Don't you know it is rude not to knock before entering? Don't stutter, it ruins your completion. "Heck" is not a suitable word for a young lady like yourself. I replaced the television because it is a terrible thing to have, it rots the mind, so I replaced it with a creative-enhancing piano.  
  
Raichu: *jaw drops to floor and she runs out screaming* The Sandwich of Light is not in place! It'll be me next! I need someone else. Charizard, no he would of been taken the same time as Salamance...I know! Dragonite! He's mad! *runs to Dragonite's house*  
  
Dragonite: *watches TV*  
  
Raichu: *bursts through the door* Oh Dragonite! It's horrible! The insanity has left everyone!  
  
Dragonite: Hush, my dear lady. *continues to watch*  
  
Raichu: What are you watching? *walks over to the TV* THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! NOOOOOOOO! *runs out of the door* Now I have no choice. I must go to *gulps* Sneasel...  
  
----Sneasel's place----  
  
Sneasel: *stands on head as there is a knock on the door* Gaa...interrupted while I'm doing my Agoy. *walks to the door* Keep your underwear on! *opens* Yeah whaddya want?  
  
Guy in big black coat: The insanity of the world had left. Join the sane ones. *stares into Sneasel's eyes*  
  
Sneasel: -.- For the last time I AM NOT BUYING RAFFLE TICKETS! *slams the door*  
  
Guy in big black coat: It seems the one has insanity that even without the Sandwich of Light prevails. I must keep a close eye this one...*stalks off*  
  
Raichu: *walks past Guy in big black coat and mumbles* Nice coat. Not on you. *knocks on Sneasel's door*  
  
Sneasel: *opens door with rocket launcher in claws* I...am...not...going....to......buy.........your....stinking....RAFFLE TICKETS!   
  
Raichu: Good to see your insane. Have you noticed something?  
  
Sneasel: *throws rocket launcher into cupboard of dangerous weapons* No what?  
  
Raichu: The insanity has left everyone but us. The news said the Sandwich of Light had been stolen and....  
  
Sneasel: THE SANDWICH OF LIGHT! NO! THEY WILL PAY DEARLY! THE *******S! *goes into cupboard* Not much time...come choose your weapon...  
  
Raichu: *searches* Rocket launcher, rocket launcher, nuclear bomb, rocket launcher, rocket launcher, Care Bear toy...  
  
Sneasel: THAT EVIL THING IS STILL THERE! *brings out the Care Bear and sets it on fire* Muahahahaha.  
  
Raichu: O_O;; Whatever. I don't think rocket launchers or nuclear bombs are going to help us. Maybe we need something else.  
  
Sneasel: Laser cannon? Rocket launcher? Sword? Rocket launcher? Firearm? Rocket launcher?  
  
Raichu: FINE! We'll take the stupid rocket launchers!  
  
Sneasel: Yay! *throws Raichu a rocket launcher* Now to find out the Sandwich snatcher's lair.  
  
Narrator: Well, duh. What about that huge red, white, yellow and blue airplane that said "Bad Guy's Lair" on the front you saw yesterday.  
  
Sneasel: Aw...spoil my fun Marina...*goes off to sulk* I was going to kill innocent people.  
  
Narrator: No you weren't! *whips Sneasel*   
  
Sneasel: Owwies ;__;  
  
Raichu: Thank you Marina! ^__^  
  
----after several hours of insanity----  
  
Sneasel: Ok we are on enemy grounds. Be wary.  
  
Raichu: Wary of what? We are on an airplane.  
  
Mutant fluffy bunny: Me made from insanity! Me crush little thingys for boss's carrots! *tries to stomp on Sneasel who holds up his claw* Ow! Booooossssss! I got a booboo! *runs away crying*  
  
Raichu: I see.   
  
Sneasel: No you don't. With the power of the Sandwich of Light the enemy can do whatever he or she likes...  
  
Raichu: Yeah...whatever. *launches rocket at random mutant fluffy bunny*  
  
Mutant fluffy bunny: Yay boom boom! *gets blown up*  
  
Sneasel: *walks along the aisle and sees a stewardess with a trolley* Must...resist...  
  
Raichu: Nooo! Don't look! Don't looook!   
  
Sneasel: *the stewardess, everything on her trolley and the trolley* That was nice. *burps*  
  
*suddenly the Imperial March starts to play*  
  
Magikarp: *comes out of doorway breathing deeply* Sneasel. You have come this far! *holds up Sandwich of Light* But you shall never get it! And the world will be sane forever.  
  
Sneasel: *growls* Hello...old friend.  
  
Raichu: This is toooooo cheesy. -.-  
  
Magikarp: Muahahahaha!  
  
Sneasel: And you shall see me and Magikarp's past in the magic of flash backs....  
  
*screen goes all swirly*  
  
Flashback Magikarp: Hello Sneasel.  
  
Flashback Sneasel: Hello dear friend! Oh let me get that door for you! *halo appears above head*  
  
Sneasel: Wait...wrong Sneasel and Magikarp  
  
*screen goes all swirly again to an arena*  
  
Flashback Sneasel: *growls* Get your fins off of her.  
  
Flashback Magikarp: Never!  
  
Flashback Sneasel: You asked for it *prepares to beat up*  
  
Flashback Magikarp: *strokes Sneasel's new Playstation 3* Never. *puts WET FIN in the Playstation 3's wires*  
  
Flashback Sneasel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
*screen goes back to present*  
  
Raichu: *gasp*  
  
Sneasel: I still haven't forgotten her Magikarp! And now I will take the Sandwich of Light back! Bwahahahhahahaha!  
  
Charizard: *bursts in suddenly through the roof* SUGAR RUSH! *bonks Magikarp over the head and starts eaten mutant fluffy bunnies* THE POWER OF SHERBET HAS BROUGHT ME BAAAAAACK! *starts beating chest and making Tarzan sounds*  
  
Sandwich of Light: *starts to glow*  
  
Sneasel: Of course. When there are three good-willed, crazed idiots in the same room of the Sandwich of Light it glows and spreads it's insanity across the world! And then it disappears as it is not needed. And it has to be three people.   
  
Raichu: *rolls eyes* Such a coincidence. I'm going home!  
  
Narrator: And so ends another random adventure.  
  
A/N: Well come on! Reviews for me please! 


	3. The Jerry Springer Show!

Chapter 3  
The Jerry Springer Show  
  
Disclaimer: *banner unrolls* Marina does not own pokemon nor does she own Jerry Springer. However she does own this talking disclaimer banner.  
  
Marina: *sipping orange juice* Hey, the Jerry Springer show...  
  
Jerry: And here's the case, I married my daughter...  
  
Marina: Ew. *turns the on the cartoons*  
  
----Meanwhile----  
  
Charizard: *drowns sorrows in orange juice*  
  
Marina: *comes down in Lugia form* What sorrows?  
  
Charizard: That I have to be on this show to earn a living!  
  
Marina: *growls* That isn't on the script...  
  
Charizard: Tough.  
  
Marina: I'm going back to my underwater cave. If you're not careful I'll take you one day.  
  
Charizard: You wouldn't coz then you wouldn't have a main character.  
  
Marina: I'll make Salamance fall in love with you.  
  
Charizard: GROSS! *runs under the table*  
  
Marina: *sighs* I'm going home. *flies off*  
  
Sneasel: *bursts into through the door*  
  
Charizard: Does anyone know how to knock?  
  
Sneasel: You said that in the last few episodes.  
  
Charizard: Well I say it again.  
  
Salamance and Raichu: *burst through the roof* Hey boys.  
  
Sneasel and Charizard: Hello girls.  
  
Salamance: So what's on TV?  
  
----a TV camera crew bursts through the door----  
  
All but the camera crew: ????  
  
Jerry Springer: *runs through the broken-down door with crowd behind him* Congratulations Charizard! You have been randomly selected to be on the Jerry Springer show!  
  
Charizard: But...I don't have any issues.  
  
Jerry Springer: Yeah you do! Charizard: And what may that be X_X  
  
Jerry Springer: Your author, Marina, entered this house. The only entry.  
  
Marina: *runs into the room in Lugia form* That's right! I demand more obedience!  
  
Charizard: OBEDIENCE!? OBEDIENCE!?   
  
Marina: Yep, that's right.  
  
Charizard: Nooooo!   
  
Jerry Springer: We're live on air, in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....  
  
----TVs all over the world turn to the Jerry Springer show----  
  
Jerry Springer: Here we are today, in Ice Path with Charizard, Sneasel, Raichu and Salamance in Charizard's house! Here with them is Marina, their author, who demands more obedience.  
  
Crowd: *cheers*  
  
Marina: Well I think my creations should be more obedient to ME!  
  
Crowd: *murmurs and nods in places*  
  
Charizard: But we should also have free will!   
  
Marina: *takes out mallet and whacks Charizard* Bad!  
  
Crowd: Rio...  
  
Jerry Springer: Let's save this till later. Next let's hear the other pokemons' opinions.  
  
Sneasel: Hi mom! *waves at camera*  
  
Raichu: *giggles senselessly* I'm on TV...*giggle giggle giggle*  
  
Salamance: Well I agree with Charizard! Rights for the characters!  
  
Marina: What about the authors. Charizard...Salamance...*deep breathing* I am....your creator!  
  
Salamance: Never. -.-  
  
Charizard: We didn't know that -.-  
  
Marina: Alright...you're in trouble now. *uses aeroblast on Charizard*  
  
Raichu: *uses thunderbolt on Marina*  
  
Marina: *uses wing attack on Raichu and Charizard*  
  
Sneasel: *uses beat up on Marina*  
  
Crowd: RIOT! RIOT! RIOT....  
  
Salamance: *uses outrage on everything nearby*  
  
Jerry Springer: *throws microphone at Salamance*  
  
Salamance: *bites Jerry Springer's arm*  
  
Jerry Springer: OW! *hits Salamance with microphone over and over* Bad dragon! Bad, bad dragon! *hit hit*  
  
Raichu: *uses thunder on Jerry Springer*  
  
Person in the Audience: These loonatics should be locked up for hurting Jerry!   
  
Marina: Oh shut up! *uses hydro pump on person in audience*  
  
Person in the Audience: Meeeep!  
  
Crowd: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!....  
  
Charizard: *uses flamethrower on everything nearby*  
  
Sneasel: *runs to the camera* And we'll be back after this commercial break. *jumps into the fight*  
  
Half of the Crowd: We must help Jerry! *leaps into the fight*  
  
Other Half: We must help the pokemon and author! *leaps into the fight*  
  
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Narrator: We are sorry we must end you're Charizard of Ice Path episode for today, or suffer exceeding it's PG13 rating.  
  
A/N: *is covered in bumps and bruises* Well there's that review button there. Go ahead and press it! 


End file.
